


The only thing different; the only thing new

by FactoryKat



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Budding Love, F/M, Female Friendship, Fic Exchange, Jealousy, Kinloch Hold (Dragon Age), Male-Female Friendship, Secret Santa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-02-24 15:53:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21740491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FactoryKat/pseuds/FactoryKat
Summary: Jealousy lives upon doubts. It becomes madness or ceases entirely as soon as we pass from doubt to certainty.  -Francois de la Rochefoucauld
Relationships: Alistair/Female Surana (Dragon Age), Jowan & Female Surana (Dragon Age)
Kudos: 9





	The only thing different; the only thing new

**Author's Note:**

> My half of a secret-santa fic exchange on a DA Discord server, for the very sweet Seren-Pedac!

**Jowan**

  
In Kinloch Hold, news spread like uncontrolled mage fire in a room full of kindling. Words hastily scrawled in the margins of textbooks were shared in study circles. Scribbled notes on reclaimed parchment exchanged hands. Whispers left lips in between giggles and drifted through the apprentice dorms before bed check. Nothing ever escaped notice in the tower, and how could it really? No matter how much the Senior Enchanters or even Irving himself tried to discourage the gossiping, it only continued to thrive. How did one properly corral a group of excited mages and apprentices, giggling and snickering away like a gaggle of schoolchildren whenever something noteworthy happened?

Often, it was the visitors from other circles who became newsworthy for the tower's residents, and for a good reason. The already limited scope of their outdoor activities had been only made more narrow with each daring escape made by one of the more ambitious apprentices. That had been the talk of the tower for months, the first time it happened, and every subsequent attempt following only seemed to fan the flames of infamy for the young man and earned him a reputation, among other things. Though it was strange how such attempts had ceased over the last year or so - but that was an entirely different story. 

No, this time, it was the arrival of a new apprentice that got them in a tizzy. 

The Circle was not without variety, existing as home to humans and elves from various backgrounds, but the latest arrival had made quite the stir. 

_Amell_ , some of the older apprentices and mages, muttered under their breaths.

_That poor family is cursed_ , others spoke in hushed tones when they thought no one could hear them. Five children - all mages - all sent to different circles. The Amells were a noble family, disgraced after one scandal followed another. It was perhaps the most thrilling news they had heard in some time, of course, they were going to chatter like mice.

Jowan, however, was lukewarm to this particular bit of gossip. Not that he ever paid much mind to any of it, but this especially was of no significance to him. What did he care if some well-to-do noble house- 

"Jowan, my _good friend_ , my fellow apprentice, how are you?" He nearly doubled over as an arm swung and grabbed him around the shoulders, disrupting his balance. 

With a long groan and a frown twisting his lips, Jowan squirmed away. "What do you want, Anders? I'm busy." Like he would believe that, after seeing him just casually strolling down the corridor towards the dormitories. Well, that didn't mean he wouldn't be busy _eventually_ , whenever he got to - well - wherever he had been headed.

"Riiiight. Anyway, I was hoping you could talk to Neria for me. Convince her to swap chores with me? You see, I got stuck with the kitchens again - honestly, this is the fifth time this week, and-"

Trapped between a scoff and a laugh, the sound that escaped Jowan's throat was not a new thing to Anders, who furrowed his golden brows at him and pursed his lips before anything else was said. "What, so you can fool around with Karl in the library when you think the templars and other Enchanters aren't paying attention?"

Anders threw up his hands in mock offense. "Jowan, I'm hurt! Not _everything_ with me is a ploy to get close to Karl."

“Isn’t it?” Jowan felt his patience waning already.

"Alright, maybe. But not this time, I swear." 

Anders had charm. In fact, he had it in buckets, and no one could deny that. Many of the Senior Enchanters were often easily swayed by his charismatic personality and good looks, things Jowan felt comfortable admitting that he sorely lacked. However, friends or not (and they were hardly close), at least Jowan could resist the other mage. 

At last, he stopped walking and leveled his eyes on the tall, skinny blonde, with what he hoped was a look of sufficient scrutiny. Not that he could tell. "Why do _I_ have to ask her? Why not ask her yourself?"

"Because she's _your_ friend. Also, I already asked, and she threw a book at my head."

That sounded like Neria. Jowan nursed a pride and choked down a laugh when his mind conjured up images of how he imagined the incident happened. Trying to remain unaffected, he rolled his eyes.

"You probably deserved it," he sneered and turned away from Anders to continue down the hallway, "Anyway, the answer is no. I have studying to do."

Anders' defeated sigh was music to his ears and a sure sign that he was giving up. For now. He would be back to bother him about something else later, almost inevitably, but Jowan felt relief he had escaped this encounter unscathed at least. Significant willpower went into not turning around just to make sure the mage wasn't following him. Still, the sounds of resentful muttering growing more distant with every step were confirmation enough for him.

"Apprentice Jowan," one of the Senior Enchanters greeted him as they approached with a smile far too cheerful to be genuine. "The first Enchanter is looking for you. It seems important."

Ice stung his fingertips and flooded his veins while his stomach practically dropped into his knees. If such a thing were even possible. "Th-the First Enchanter wants to see me?" _Oh, sweet Maker, whatever for?_ Irving wasn't a physically intimidating man, and Jowan had never seen nor heard him lose his temper. However, when the First Enchanter was disappointed, you knew it by the wrinkle in his brow, deep-set frown and hard set to his jaw that not even his bushy beard could hide.

A shrug was all he got from Markus - that was his name - before he walked off in the other direction. Jowan could hardly contain his nerves, like gnashing jaws in his gut. Surely it was nothing. Maybe it was even something good, something positive. Markus had given no indication one way or the other, but it wasn't like Jowan had done anything worth reprimand so…

He swallowed anxious laughter and convinced his feet to carry him further down the corridor towards Irving's office. Best to just get it over.

Rounding the corner, every step heavy and filled with what he could only describe as existential dread, the door was open, and an unfamiliar girl stood just off to the side with her hands folded neatly across her body. Her large eyes stared at him, and from her smile, he couldn't quite determine if she was just as nervous or genuinely thrilled.

"Ahh, Jowan. Come in, come in-"

"First Enchanter Irving, sir? You wanted to see me?" A small voice flowed into the room just before another head breached the threshold. Long, tapered ears jutted out through a curtain of straight brown hair that belonged to a petite figure crossing into the office. This one _was_ familiar though surprising it was to see her. 

"Neria? You too?"

She turned her gaze up at him, “Jowan? I’m not sure what’s-” but before she could finish, the First Enchanter cleared his throat. He wore a smile that Jowan decided could be considered kind. Enough. At least he didn't appear angry or upset, and if Neria was here too then, there was no way he was in any trouble. Surana had never even received so much as a slap on the wrist since she arrived.

"I'm glad you both are here. I would like to introduce you to our newest arrival. This is Solona Amell. It is my hope that you both would be so kind as to show her around and make her feel welcome."

At once, both Jowan and Neria objected, talking over the other in their protests: 

“But First Enchanter what about the library-” “I was heading back to my room to study for-”

Irving's laugh was little more than a low, raspy-sounding rumble, yet it succeeded in silencing their objections. "Chores and studies can wait. Now then, I'll leave you to it." 

He gestured for the trio to make their way out of his office. What else could they do but agree? If they continued to resist, who knows what the consequences would be. _Probably more chores_ , Jowan scowled to himself as he exchanged glances with his elven friend. Her apprehensive expression said it all. He knew she would instead prefer to be holed up in her dorm with her nose buried in a textbook while the world passed her by. Frankly, he didn't blame her. Doing anything except this sounded more than appealing to Jowan, and for all of a minute, he contemplated pawning this Amell off on Anders. Only a minute before his conscience kicked in.

With a long sigh, he made the first introduction. "I'm Jowan. This is -"

"Neria Surana," she interjected in a quiet but direct tone. Although she had not changed much since first arriving, Neria had gone from cooly detached to surprisingly pleasant once he got to know her. They stuck together, finding kinship in keeping their heads down and generally going unseen and unbothered by everyone else.

"Irving said your name is Solona?"

"Solona Amell, yes. It's nice to meet you both!" 

There was that smile again, bright and sweet, and this time he knew she wasn't actually nervous. Well, not really. Not like he had been when he first came to the Circle.

Solona fixed her eyes, practically glittering with excitement, on Surana as she studied the elf carefully. "I really like your ears." 

Jowan watched the display as Neria, caught somewhere between surprised and confused, blinked. A hand flew instinctively to her ears, the tips colored the same subtle pink that was barely visible in her cheeks. 

"Oh. Thanks." 

He said nothing, though, uncertain whether the exchange had been positively adorable or awkward.

They kept walking and headed for the apprentice dorms. He made a half effort to play tour guide as they passed each major corridor and open room, but he suspected halfway through that Amell wasn't listening. She seemed only marginally interested in the words coming from his mouth and more captivated by the people and especially watching the apprentices mid-magic lessons, watching with wide-eyed fascination as the Enchanters carried on with instructions and their students attempted to demonstrate their knowledge.

Eagerly, she turned to both of them again, "So you can both do magic too, right?"

"Of course," Neria replied, showing some interest in the conversation.

"I'm not really great at it. Neria helps me with my lessons. Honestly, I can barely light a candle."

Solona seemed elated by what he said. "You'll help me too then, right? I can make a fire! But only a small one. What can you do, Neria? I bet it's amazing!"

The bubbly girl who wore stars in her eyes whenever she talked about magic was far more interested in Surana than himself, and he supposed that shouldn't have bothered him, but it did.

Jowan was mildly surprised to see Neria even giving the girl more than a passing thought, much like everyone else gave her. He saw her contemplate the question before the pull of mana, and the faint scent of ozone pricked the air between them. Tiny, bright sparks flickered between her fingers and reflected in her eyes that were intense in their deep focus.

Solona swelled with delight as she fixated on the little light show so much that deep disappointment replaced her admiration the minute it stopped.

"Here, let's go to the library, and I suppose I can show you a few things." Neria pulled in front of their group and lead the charge, unexpectedly, and again he couldn't help but feel a little surge of envy rising up in the back of his throat like bile.

Jowan was was given no invitation to follow them, and for a moment, he hesitated, waiting for Neria to look back and urge him along. When she didn't, his arms crossed over his chest, and he rooted his feet defiantly to the floor while watching their retreating backs...

* * *

  
**Alistair**

  
How long had they been talking? How long had they been sat around the crackling fire, knees pointed inward toward each other, speaking in hushed voices as Neria leaned in closer? Alistair watched her head bounce in acknowledgment and primarily focused on the tips of her ears that twitched just-so with interest every time the assassin said something to her. Even from where he sat, with his back pressed against the rough bark of a tree with his arms folded tightly across his body, Alistair saw everything.

Alright, well, he saw enough. Enough for his mind to run away with exaggerations and wild ideas, but that was beside the point!

Neria had not smiled necessarily or even chuckled, but her lips quirked when the elf - when _Zevran_ (he could hear her soft voice correcting him) - spoke again with animated hands, and his stupid haughty laughter...

_Maker's breath_ , what was he even doing? Could she feel him practically boring holes into her like he could feel the way his brows knitted furiously, and his lips contorted into a pout? Exhaling through his nostrils and his eyes screwed shut, Alistair let his head rock backward, thudding against the tree trunk. He pointedly ignored the stinging in his skull when he did. 

Had he fooled himself into thinking that maybe-

No, no, he hadn't. In fact, he was sure of it. The way her brown eyes grew in size and filled with warmth when he presented the rose or the ever so subtle flush of pink that dusted her lovely olive cheeks said otherwise. While he appreciated her dedication to the cause, how she didn't take their job lightly and genuinely wanted to do right by the Order and by Duncan who had placed his trust in them, it had been nice to see her come alive just a little more and show a different side to her. It had been a comfort, to be honest, not that she wasn't good company elsewise, but the relief came from breaking through that taciturn shell and finding she was as delightful as he had imagined. Her reservation was mistaken for disinterest at first, but once it became clear that was simply not the case, well, it was easier to see past that outer layer. Besides, she always laughed at his jokes, which had to count for something.

Right.

No good would come up sitting there wondering and moping.

"Alistair?"

Though delicate of frame and voice (at first glance anyway), she was not at all lacking in confidence. 

He practically jumped out of his skin and turned rapidly to face the woman who had approached from, well, somewhere. She had moved the moment he stopped looking, and that was almost frightening.

"Oh! Neria! Fancy uh, seeing you here..."

"Alistair." She stared him down with a straight face and those bottomless eyes. 

He stood accused under her gaze and squirmed. "Right. Yes. Camp. Traveling together, stopping the Blight. Got it. Er, listen-"

She almost mirrored his earlier pose, with her arms high on her chest, one folded over the other as they were. "You were staring. Did you need something?"

Of course, she noticed. That did not stop Alistair's heart from leaping into his throat and the awkward half-laugh he tried to pull off as natural. Even he recognized it for what it was. "Who me? That's just, that's ridiculous. I was simply admiring the beautiful sky. I mean, have you seen it? Wow, it's something."

"Zevran noticed it too. He told me to come over here and ask if you were alright." Neria's posture relaxed, her shoulders slumped just enough to be visible, but the way she held her arms, palm clasped in palm behind her back was not much better. 

His chest tightened, and the loose linen of his tunic now clung to his back. "Actually, I'm glad you're here. I wanted to ask you something. A personal question. About the - about Zevran, in fact. It seems like the two of you have become quite … friendly?" The words spilled unbidden from his lips before he could stop them, but it took all of his willpower not to hide his face in shame.

Much to his gratitude, Neria didn't appear to be put off or alarmed. There was an impish quality to the expression on her face, one that was otherwise mostly neutral. "You aren't jealous, are you?"

"No! No, not jealous. I'm just, simply curious, that's all."

"Curious?" 

_Maker_ , she was so lovely. That was part of what made this so tricky. She was beautiful, intelligent, and possessed a natural inclination towards leadership. Though they didn't always agree entirely on the decisions she made, he admired the way she was still willing to explain her thought process and hear his side. The way she listened to him, laughed when he told terrible jokes… Wait, he already said that.

Alistair swallowed his nerves (and his pride) and continued with this poorly thought out line of questioning. "I was curious about your _intentions_ towards him. Maybe that's inappropriate of me to ask. You don't have to tell me. If it's serious, that is."

Her smug demeanor fell away and became genuine as her eyes reflected a degree of concern. "I see." There was a pause as she appeared to consider her words thoughtfully. "No. It's not serious. I enjoy his presence and appreciate having another elf to converse with. He has some fascinating tales. We were discussing what happened, with the Dalish and the werewolves."

It was hard not to break into laughter, but Alistair contained himself and only released the breath he had been holding. "Oh, thank goodness. I was under the impression that you two were, you know, romantically involved. But I didn't know how to put it without sounding…"

"Jealous?" Her brow curved judgmentally, but her voice was still light, even airy.

"Yes, well."

Neria chuckled after a moment finally and relaxed even further. "Alistair?"

Heat pooled in his collar, and his cheeks also grew warm. "Yes?"

"Would you like to come and sit with me by the fire?"

He swallowed the awkward giggle that threatened to fly from his throat and combatted it with a grin he hoped was sincere enough. "I would like that, yes."


End file.
